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Astronomer "statistical methods" applied to a Wendy's lunch crowd

(subject to change, interpretation, and enormous error bars)

 

I was sitting at Wendy's (fairly early for lunch) and I noted that of the 5 patrons dining in, there was

1 female (me)

4 males (them)

 

Of the group, 3 of us were in isolated systems (sitting alone at a table)

 

Of the males

  • - 3/4 had beards extending more than one inch below the chin
  • - 2/4 had shaved heads
  • - 1/4 wore suspenders

 

As an astronomer, with a few hand wavy caveats mentioning selection biases, uniform sampling, and small sample sizes, I could still get a paper purporting broad sweeping statistics based on this sample. I have determined that, given an approximate population of 6 billion humans on Earth:

  • >- at least 1.2 billion are female
  • - 4.5 billion are males with beards extending more than one inch below the chin line
  • - 3.6 billion are single (how close is it to Valentine's day?)
  • - 562.5 million are bearded, bald, and wearing suspenders

 

Long live statistics!