Menu-esque Thing

Kevin: I love spackle!

Kevin: I didn't know how to make it, so I just threw a bunch of fish in a blender.

Kevin: Once I had a dream that this lemur was feeding me chocolate pudding. Naturally I wanted to have that dream again.
Joe: Who wouldn't?

Kevin: Oh! I have an idea.
Nick: Can you tell us your idea without using the words chowder, monkey, pogo, harpsichord or time machine?

Mom: No monkey business.
Joe: Where would we even get a monkey?
Nick: Let alone one with a head for business.

Macy: For someone who's so smart sometimes you don't even know what you don't know you know.

Joe: I have a peanut butter, mushroom, and sardine sandwich with your name on it. (Joe sneezes on it) And now it's disgusting.

Joe: I don't understand.
Kevin: Do you want me to draw you more smily faces?

Kevin: Why did you give him that idea?
Nick: All I said was 'well.'
Kevin: All I said was ... So technically, you're more to blame.
Nick: All I said was 'well.'

Joe: One for all
Kevin, Joe, Nick: And all for one.
Kevin: And a leather pouch for my turkey leg!

Joe: They took my socks without taking off my shoes. How did they DO that?

Joe: She would run for the hills.
Kevin: So we know she lives in the hills.

Joe: What's behind your back?
Kevin: Flowers. (Shows the bouquet) I'm trying to attract bees.
Joe: But you're allergic to bees.
Kevin: Yes, true, but if you don't wanna give me more time to come up with a better excuse then I'm gonna go with that one.

Joe: Hey Nick, do these sunglasses make my head look fat?
Nick: No your fat head makes your head look fat.

Mom: KEVIN! Since when does breakfast require a microphone?

Nick: No, she was swimming in a swamp and got an actual frog in her throat. She's at the clinic right now getting a frog-ectomy.

Stella: I have to replace the knees in all of Kevin's pants. Why do you insist on power-sliding across stage every night?
Kevin: Because I'm awesome.
Nick: He is awesome.

Kevin: I love koalas. They're so emo, and they eat all that eucalyptus so their breath is so minty fresh!

Nick: Joe, I know you like Angelina but she's just one girl, ok? Unless she has an identical twin in which case I am mistaken and I apologize.

Nick: Are you saying Kevin had a good idea?
Joe: It was bound to happen eventually.

Kevin: I don't joke around about a feathered hat.

Joe: When we're performing, I just have to be Joe and that's pretty easy.
Kevin: You are an excellent Joe.
Nick: The best one I've ever worked with

Kevin: I can't help it if my leg muscles are like crouching tigers!

Joe: Do you remember what today is?
Stella: Oh yeah, it's "Be Kind to Chipmunks Day". I got your email, Kevin.
Kevin: Good, 'cause I got an extra acorn for everybody.

Joe: I hate that guy. He's so pedantic, pompous, pretentious.
Nick: Looks like somebody's been reading their Word a Day calendar.

Kevin: Check out the ghost cam. If there's a ghost in this room, this camera will detect it.
Nick: Dude, that's just a regular video camera.
Kevin: No way, it cost three times what a regular video camera costs, plus it has a little ghost sticker.

Joe: What kind of lame ghost would knock?
Kevin: Maybe he was raised right, when he was alive!

Kevin: Wait, Mom said no running on the stairs.
Joe: You're worried about that now?!
Kevin: Who are you more afraid of, the ghost or Mom?
Stella: That's a good point.

Kevin: And we can get an otter that can play the trumpet!

Joe: Stella, I know you probably never want to see us again.
Nick: Which would be kinda hard seeing as we go to school together and you work with us.
Kevin: Unless you want to make yourself some really fantastic blindfolds.

Kevin: Nick's been ghostnapped. I don't know if the others made it back to the safe zone. I haven't heard anything so I must assume they're dead. Out of respect for Joe, I won't start selling his stuff until tomorrow.

Kevin: I think we might have to live in here forever. I choose that corner.

Joe: I didn't want to wreck everything you and me don't have together.

Nick: Well, as the most responsible and least likely to measure leadership skills by facial hair, maybe I should be in charge!

Stella: The most horrible thing has happened.
Macy: Your toenails don't match your purse?
Stella: Okay, that would never happen.

Macy: Whoever says you aren't an athlete, hasn't seen you with a pair of scissors and measuring tape!

Kevin: If our clothes go on tour by themselves, my leather pants get their own dressing room!

Joe: We're trying to impress him, not melt his brain!

Kevin: What is your favorite comedic animal? Hmm. Gotta be bear in a bikini.

Nick: What are you doing?
Kevin: Oh, I thought this would look cooler in pretend slow motion.
Joe: (considers) He's right.