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Top 10 Signs You're in an Alternate Star Trek Universe

10. Nobody smiles... they're either leering or frowning.
9. The captain needs a body guard and still isn't safe.
8.A transporter accident causes a more civilized version of one of the players to appear and attempt to "teach" the others about being civilized.
7. Some person/race is enslaved.
6. There is a torture booth into which a primary character is sentenced to.
5. Inexplicable facial hair adding a sinister appearance.
4. There has been at least one recent mutiny
3. The captain has a "companion"
2. Women are scantily clad
1. There's an empire